Scottish Sloths Discovered in Dunkeld

Natural science has been rocked to its very core this week with the discovery of a native Scottish sloth in Dunkeld, Perthshire.

Sloths were previously thought to only survive in tropical rainforests in South and Central America which makes the discovery even more incredible.

Unlike its South and Central American cousins the newly-discovered Scottish sloth has a rounder appearance and is far more aggressive. It also has a distinctive ginger streak across its head and down its back.

The sloth, which was found in a dense woods close to the River Tay, is now in captivity and the world’s finest sloth experts are now monitoring the animal.

So far the Scottish sloth’s diet is unknown as it has refused to eat any plants from its local environment. In a bizarre twist it has an insatiable craving for Irn Bru and haggis.

Judy Hopps, lead scientist for the Foundation Of Orangutans, Lemurs & Sloths said: “We were absolutely amazed with this discovery, our aim now is to find if any other sloths have been hiding in the area.”

Judy has set up a dedicated website for Scottish residents and urges people to keep a look-out and to report any sightings.

Come to Kennacoil and stretch your legs (we’ll pull the other one, too).